As I slowly opened my eyes, I found myself staring at a ceiling I was unfamiliar with. It took a few moments for me to realize where I was - in the anesthesia recovery unit. The nurse to my left, who was assigned to me & one other patient on the other side of her & all the monitors, asked how I was feeling.
"Like someone just drilled into my skull and cut into my brain."
She laughed. I tried... and that's when I realized the SEARING pain in my abdomen. I knew I'd have an incision there, but despite having had a hernia operation as a child, the pain was so much worse than I'd imagined - even worse than the pain in my head!!!
Little did I know that this laugh wasn't just about my comment... I would only find out later that it had taken me far too long to wake up - as there were no windows in the unit, I had no way of knowing it was already dark out even though I should've been awake by lunch time - and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when I was finally conscious.
Suddenly, an alarm started going off. I tried to turn my head to look at it, but realized I COULDN'T. The tubing running under my skin from the top of my head all the way down to my abdomen was tight and as it rubbed against my bones it was extremely painful.
So I did the only thing a 22-year-old could do. I asked for my Mommy! :-P
"Not yet. Two hours awake, then your parents."
I wanted to argue, but was far too tired. I fell asleep and when I woke up, I once again asked for my parents. I was having difficulty talking, which I later found out was related to the complications I was having, but at the time I was too out of it to notice.
I'll NEVER forget when my parents got to my side. I heard my Mom say my name in a way I'd never heard it said before... almost like a question, like I could hear her saying so much just in the way she said my name, almost begging me to say something - ANYTHING - to show her I was okay, that the brain surgery part of it didn't take her daughter away from her, that I was still me.
"Michelle?"
"Hi Mom. I was asking for you!"
"Thank you dear Lord! Hey sweetie, how are you feeling? Do you recognize all of us?"
It was then that I noticed my stepdad adjusting the nasal cannula delivery oxygen to my body. "Yes, Earl is messing with me. I can't catch a break."
I don't remember what happened next... only that I fell asleep and woke up again to my Uncle and Grandma at my side, still in the recovery unit.
At that point, I was too weak & in too much pain to talk. They kissed my forehead and left.
It was then that I started to realize something was wrong... very, very wrong.
**************
Part 4 - COMPLICATIONS - coming soon!
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8 comments:
You are a very talented writer and a very dear soul! With all you go through you maintain a sense of humor and love that is amazing. I think you should write a book about your experiences - your blog can be very helpful in that - and share all of this with as many as possible. Have you taken writing classes or something? If not you were born to be a writer, and that is something you can do at home to support your self financially. I wish you the best through all of your trials! Ann
(Sorry, I messed up the previous comment I'd left in response to your own & had to delete it - let's try this one more time!)
Ann,
Thanks so much for your kind words! I've actually never taken a writing class... in fact, due to moving around a lot as a kid & therefore switched school systems, I missed learning grammar, etc. altogether - I kind of go with what looks/feels right & hope it's not too far off! :-P
I've thought about writing a book, but again, I've got no formal education on writing so it's always been a "get real" type of situation in my mind. I wouldn't even know where to start.
Thanks for reading my blog... and for taking the time to comment & let me know it is making a difference. I look forward to sharing many more entries with you! :-)
- Michelle
Michelle, I just posted on the Riggs blog the same time that you did, and my prayer request was for severe migraines also. God bless and I hope you are healed and feeling better soon!
Michelle, you are a natural writer! You can (and should I think) take writing classes over the internet such as "expressive writing" and "composition". Some writing classes will even help you start your own book! You have a serious talent and I believe you need to believe in that talent! I wish the best for you, Ann
Hi Michelle,
This site is free and may help you with your writing:)
http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/courses/publish/2.php
He offers a 5 day email writing course for free.
All the best.
For sure, you must seriously consider being a writer : ) I agree with what you said about your story: *it's a good one. :-)* I think you would be talented at writing mysteries. Humorous mysteries with cliff-hangers in them!! I was practically holding my breath reading this post and then...*to be continued*...popped up! eek!! Well done little one.
You are such an inspiration to me. I keep looking at the photo you posted and see a young woman who is completely real. One with open arms, honesty, love, a caring heart, trust, bravery. I am so thankful that God has brought you to Himself and put you in such a good place with Him. You KNOW that He is in control. Totally know that. Wow!! And you are only 22! (I am not 22; but my left thigh is...does that count?) Hope I made you smile there. You express such a fresh view of Him with more confidence and surrender than most people I know.
I am praying for your healing and recovery AND for you to clearly see the path He has for you. I pray knowing there is much good in your future because He promises it. I pray that you also will truly realize what a blessing you are to your family, your medical teams, and your blog friends. I await the next blog. Write on Michelle : )
Beloved Michelle! I'm not sure how you're able to post at all during this time of surgery and healing. I await your updates anxiously. You make the most wonderful comments on A Road Less Traveled! Misty's family need to have that TRUTH and encouragement. (The code word I have to type in is "misted.") May our blinded eyes see CLEARLY the full truth of the Good News of Jesus Christ.
I found these scriptures to encourage you.
"Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again."
1 Thessalonians 5:23
"Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers." 3 John 1:2
In our Lord's love and awaiting celebrations of resurrection beyond the cross, Michal
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