Cousin Kennedy's Death

Now that I've had a couple of days to process my cousin Teddy Kennedy's death, I thought I'd write a little bit to sort of explain what it's like going through the death of someone that so many people can't stand & that so many people feel they know when in reality they have no idea.

The truth is that ever since learning of my Kennedy connection (remember, I was cut off from my father's side of the family for years so I didn't know anything about anyone on that side) I've tried to keep it somewhat quiet. I wrote 1 sentence about it in a previous post on here simply because nobody who reads this actually knows me in person... usually I tell only those who I trust because all it takes is the wrong person finding out and suddenly you're WHOA! in the public eye. Thankfully my last name is NOT Kennedy, as my relation was a female so she took her husband's name.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a proud Republican... that I admire Ronald Reagan not only because he was a family FRIEND, but because of what he stood for. That I disagree with everything the Kennedys stand for.

But.

We're blood.

Right now I'm extremely frustrated that there's no lying in state in the Capitol. I went to Reagan's a few years ago and although we were out in line from sunset to sunrise (it was a long night!) I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I've got family in Boston (where the events are) that I could stay with - yes, most of that side of the family is still in Massachusetts - I'm not cleared by my neurosurgeon to travel yet.

The funeral is at Arlington Cemetery, half an hour away... but I know they'll be keeping it to close family as many high-profile people will be there and I don't feel like having to explain myself, even though I believe I could be there. I only met him a few times so it's not overwhelming grief... but like I said... it's family.

Am I proud of my Kennedy blood?

Not their decisions, no.

Would I change it?

Not in a million years.

One of the VERY HARDEST things is that my mom & stepdad aren't very supportive because they hate all the Kennedys. That and it has to do with my biological father so they'd probably hate them anyway. :-P So they lead the way with the Senator Kennedy bashing, and I just want to scream. I asked them to stop but they won't. And that is VERY unusual for them, especially my mom... I guess it's her way of dealing with knowing who is part of me.

I'll never forget the day I found out that I had Kennedy blood. Maybe it's God, but I was proud instantly despite knowing I stood for everything they stand against. And since my Gramma's death last Easter, I've taken comfort SPECIFICALLY in seeing Teddy Kennedy's picture - he looks like my Gramma's twin. I'm SO not kidding. When I found out he died - online, of course, as the story was picked up instantly - it was like that last connection to her was gone. So it made the realization that SHE IS GONE even stronger. That was probably the hardest part of it, even harder than how I found out.

If you could be praying, I would appreciate it and I know the Kennedys would as well. I literally LAUGH when I think of the relation, seeing God's humor in it as we're the most unlikely of kin... but I love them and will be praying fervently for them... for better or worse, we're family.