...in exactly 24 months.
My third Christmas just having had major brain surgery.
Long blond hair shaved for family pictures.
If I'm stable enough, on Thursday morning, I'll be admitted to the hospital for brain surgery & possible abdominal surgery. They won't know until I'm in the Operating Room (OR) what all is damaged.
The only fear I feel is for my family. If something happens & God calls me Home, I don't mind as far as my own life... what I fear for is the people I'd leave behind. It's getting easier with each surgery, although this time the unknowns make it a little harder to deal with.
I've tried to live my life in such a way that I have no regrets. Of course, at 24, I've made mistakes - some of them bigger than others - but for the most part, I have closure with everything...
...except one thing. Losing my best friend, literally overnight, 35 months ago and never knowing why. She refuses to answer questions or speak to me, even online, and we were like sisters. I fought for her so she wouldn't have to face her Diabetes alone, did everything I could to be a good friend, and that loss still haunts me. I LITERALLY have nightmares almost every night.
When I'm being wheeled into the OR for the 3rd time in just under 2 years, facing brain surgery that could go a number of ways, that's what I'll be asking for peace on. That one thing that I still have no closure about... wondering why, but also knowing 100% for sure in my heart that I've done EVERYTHING I can possibly do on my side, and there's nothing left for me to do other than continue praying for a miracle, that one day I'll get answers and maybe God will heal her heart enough to repair our friendship. I feel sad for her because you don't just do that for no reason, but at the same time, I'm sad for me that I'm going into brain surgery & someone who was supposed to be a sister to me is the one person who is making me head into that OR unable to be completely at rest.
Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. If I go into surgery Thursday morning, you won't hear from me til I'm discharged & able to type. If I'm not stable enough & it's pushed back, I'll let you all know when the new date is.
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5 comments:
I am praying. I can't wait to hear how great your surgery went. So much love to you tonight.
Hi...I saw your comment on Heart Cries...wanted you to know that I will be praying four you. I can't imagine having to face so much at such a young age. off to read more of your story! Stay strong.
Praying for a successful surgery and a speedy recovery. Looking forward to reading your post after surgery.
Lea
Praying for you friend and believing God for great things!!!
As far as your "random" question...Ty, does in fact, have Indian heritage! :) So, you're right on. He has Navajo on one side and Cherokee on the other! I think he looks way more American Indian then he does Hispanic. And man does he tan up in the summer!
praying!
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